Just a Suggestion

First off, why does everyone always want to talk on the phone?  I hate talking on the phone.  I only even call my parents two or three times a month on average.  Fine, maybe it's four or five or 13 because I generally have questions Google can't really answer like:

• Can you send me this childhood favorite recipe?
• How badly would we say my hand should be bleeding before I go to the hospital?
• Are you absolutely sure I don't have some long lost sibling who wants to live in Florida and take care of you when you're super old and if not, have you heard it's never too late for adoption?
• The Kardashians are younger than me and they're freezing their eggs for publicity - should I be doing the same?
• Will you pay for it? Why not?  Fine, agree to revisit this later?
• A mosquito bit me - do you think I have West Nile?  And how long would we say I should wait before picking up and going to the hospital?   
• Do you think that because I am alone in this big house in the suburbs for the weekend, I am more likely or extremely more likely to be murdered during a thunderstorm by the killer from I Know What You Did Last Summer?  

And then I mostly get hung up on.  Whatever, you get the point.  Sometimes the need for additional phone calls arise, but it's basically all for emergency situations only.  That's essentially the relationship I have with the phone function of my smartphone.  More smart, less phone.  So, no, I would not like to catch up over the phone this week.  I will almost certainly be having a chardonnay or bottle thereof.  If you'd like to catch up with me while I do so, beautiful. 

Anyhow, on to my original suggestion.  Maybe don't ask someone out, make plans and then and only then go on to tell them that you're fighting off a cold and may get them sick.  That's, well, sick.  Either just fail to mention it all together, or do the polite thing and excuse yourself and reschedule.  Meeting for a drink is not like trying to catch a triple rainbow, folks.  We signed up for internets dating and made it through the tedious introductory process; we're both interested parties here.  At least we were both interested until I could only picture you snotty and sneezing. 

Vennifer

Latte Me Tell You Something

OK, that was so cheesy I just gagged.  Sorry.  Anyhow, here's the deal:  I would not like to maybe get together later in the week for coffee.  Unless it is at 5:30am and we are two crazy roosters on the way to Soulcycle - in which case I think we would have already found that we are soulmates - I am never going to want to meet for coffee.  Caffeine after lunch is a sure fire way to make sure I never go to sleep again and lay in bed stewing about how much I resent you for a date I was never really into in the first place!  And frankly, I'm a little concerned that you don't understand after work hours are reserved for chardonnay... and bourbon.

Short post, but it needed to be said. 

Vennifer.