Crazy Sauce

I was working on something about all the ridiculous back and forth in the world of online dating.  And while I do believe that one will ultimately be funny, as it directly involves both Alvin and the Chipmunks AND Harry Potter, something has come up which needs immediately attention.  It's this:

I'm sorry, what?  I don't even know what to do with this one.  I mean, I obviously want to go out with him for the story, but I think it's going to have to be my final story.  I think it's going to be my final story because this lunatic is obviously going to make a skin blanket out of me.  And while Casey is always prepared to order a champagne tower and mardi gras Indians for my memorial should I happen to meet an unfortunate end, I don't yet have a working will that will legally bind my parents to bury me in New York and donate all my remaining assets to Hillary's future superPAC.  Stay tuned, though.  It can't take too long.  

K, enjoy the weekend, yall.  

Vennifer.